Monday, September 12, 2011

Writing is my center

I have had a crazy couple of years. I'm en route to have a few more.

Moving away to college five years ago was really hard for me. Then, there was all the going back and forth between my two homes – the college and the house I grew up in. Such instability and the fact that I was bouncing jobs for a few months at a time was hard. You're never with the same people, you're always trying to catch up with old friends, and the atmosphere is quite different.

Flash forward to my graduation where I moved home for a month (in which I was completely sick and had to have surgery) and then I got a job. My first real job. And it was in my field of study, which is quite good in this economy. I went to a town that I'd never been to in my memory (I think we drove through it when I was really little, but I don't remember) and had to start a life from scratch.

Fast forward to this summer when I quit that job without a plan. Serendipity stepped in offering me my dream job, and I moved back to my home state, although quite a bit further away from my family than my last job.

I'm just fitting my life back together again, getting things settled and trying to figure some stuff out.

The one thing that's been with it all? My writing.

I can't help but feel like me when I'm writing. Even when it's hard. Even when I want to rip my hair our because my characters are being annoying and refuse to do what I want them to. Even when I'm having a panic attack because my ending sucks – in the middle of writing it. Writing is so not easy, but I live for it.

Everyday I think about how I should be writing. Everyday I consider where my current WIP is going and what I can do to make it better. Everyday I study the things around me for writing purposes. Writing has ingrained itself into the very essence of who I am. I don't know who I would be without it today.

And there is something so calming about it to me. Even when it's high stress, I know that I can work through it. And when something else is stressing me or I feel like my life is out of control (a lot over the past five years, no?) I know I can sit down and write. It clears my brain, settles my nerves and makes the world seem like a better place.

What does writing do for you? Are you like me when it comes to writing and needing it in your life? Let me know!